☆Ryan☆

Dysphoria

I long for the freedom to be who I am
To live my life as a natural born man
I crave to be free of people misgendering me
I want so badly to be taken seriously

I desire to wake up and see in the mirror
The man that I am not a her
I want a deep voice
And using the men’s room to by my natural choice

I want to look at myself and love what I see
I want the person in the mirror to be me
I need to move away from the state
To free myself of my family’s hate

I want to go somewhere no one knows my name
I want to be who I am without any shame
To introduce myself without saying I’m trans
And people knowing that I’m just a man

I long for the day
When I wake up and everything is ok
Lying beside me the love of my life
A woman who would love to be my wife

I am so sick of waking up
Everyday I just feel stuck
I want to scream to the world
That I am not a girl!

Everyday is another battle
Against people following society like cattle
It’s so hard to be like this
And most days I just feel sick

I’m sick of the woman’s body I’m in
I’m sick of being told I am a sin
I hate the body that I have
I’m scared of seeing my mom or dad

I don’t know how to tell my family
That the daughter they had isn’t me
I know that if I tell them it’ll break their heart
But I tried to tell my mother from the start

I tried to tell my mother when I was eight
But in her eyes all I could see was hate
So I did my best to a girl
But wearing a dress made my head twirl

So I think I need to leave
To transition where they can’t see
The pain from the surgeries
Or the changes from the HRT

So I’m saving up to run away
And maybe I’ll come back some day
I just need the freedom and space to be me
To change my exterior to who I need to be

So if one day I disappear
Please don’t shed a tear
I’m just trying to find my place in the world
Where no one knows that I was ever a girl

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Dysphoria